Figuring Out Fifty-One?

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It's been almost a year since I began my blog, Figuring Out Fifty, and now the time has come when I have to decide if I want to renew my subscription to keep the website up, or let it go. I had hoped it would be an easy decision, that I would be blogging 2 or 3 times per week and it would be of no doubt that I would be renewing. However, life gets busy, I am inconsistent and weeks go by without a post. 

Starting a blog was great. I was into it. I did lots of research and spent time learning how to set up the site and what makes a good blog, etc.  I enjoyed doing my book blog as I was reading The Lord of the Rings trilogy, and I enjoyed it less with just about every book after that! My enjoyed wrting mypersonal blog more, even if I didn't write that often.

Sometimes we have to make decisions where the answers aren't obvious. I will often do pros and cons lists and weigh both sides of a question but in this case I'm not doing that.  This time for me, it comes down to one major pro. I'm keeping my Figuring Out Fifty site up because I like blogging. I like writing and sharing my thoughts. I know I don't have a big readership and that's okay. I'm doing this for me. Because I like it. Because I can. Because I want to. I realize that sounds a little childish, but none the less, that is what it comes down to.

Whew, I'm relieved. I've been stressing about that decision for the last couple of weeks. It feels great to have made a choice! However, that is not the only decision that needs to be made.  There are two parts of my blog, the book review section and the personal blog section. Should I keep both going? Should I focus on only one?  Should I add another?

I decided to start the book blog when I was at the library one day and couldn't find a book I wanted to read. I thought, I'll check out the list of the top books and choose one of those, and then I thought it would be fun to write about the books I read. And it was, at least at first. I have to admit I got really bogged down in some of these books. They are not my style. Perhaps I'm not smart enough to follow the author's story line. I'm not sure what the problem is, but I found I disliked more of the books than I liked. 

It was discouraging. I found I stopped reading altogether.  I felt guilty if I read something that wasn't on the list and I didn't want to read the current book on the list because it was not enjoyable. It was a not a good situation. However, I am also the kind of person who has trouble letting go of something once I've started it. So, my plan for now is.... I am going to continue with both parts of the blog just as they are, but, I'm taking the pressure off myself on the book section.  I will continue reading through the list at my leisure. But, if I want to read something else, like a novel by John Grisham or Nora Roberts, I'm going to go ahead and do it. In fact, I already did, and they were great.

As far as the personal blog section goes, I will continue writing about what is on my mind, what inspires me or irks me.  I have discovered that no matter what I write about it ends up having "religious" overtones. That makes sense, since I am a Christian, and I won't apologize for that. Sometimes I was worried about what people would think, would I offend anyone, would they stop reading? Then the obvious answer - who cares? I want to write for me. What I'm thinking, What I've learned. What God is leading me through. If someone doesn't like it, they don't have to read it. If someone is offended, by all means close the blog off. But the other possibility is that my blog might be an encouragement to someone else. Or just a little distraction on a bad day.

Anyways, the point is I'm staying. I'm excited and I feel like I'm starting again. But I'm going to be kind to myself and not pressure myself to read more, or blog more often. Even though I plan on it being more consistent, it will happen when it happens. 

Also, just a quick thanks to those who do read my blog regularly, whether you comment on the blog itself or tell me in person, I appreciate your kind words and encouragement more than you can imagine.